I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize