i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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