why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
