i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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