i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
