as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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