the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
