when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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