Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
