apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we made out on top of his cat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize