Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
