i was born a porn star she said
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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