The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
