Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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