there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
