it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
