Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
