happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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