Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
time to smoke my breakfast
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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