But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize