Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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