you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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