how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
a search helicopter?!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
