i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
