i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
