im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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