You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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