I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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