I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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