help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
