The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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