Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
