discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I party with great urgency now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
