idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
