The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Found the puke drawer
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
