you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
