My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
