I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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