the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
