i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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