Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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