Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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