Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
