i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
