is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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