So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
