Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
