two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
