Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
