You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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