Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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