i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
