my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
