My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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