I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
