It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
