Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
