In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
