We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
