Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
