My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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